Okay, Let’s Talk About the Soup That Basically Saved My Week

You know those days where you’re just kind of over everything (the ones where you realize you’ve been wearing slippers since 2pm and you have no plans to change)? That’s when I make this crack chicken soup. I stumbled into it a few winters back after my cousin sent a frantic group text about this “amazing Pinterest chicken thing.” Well, this version is the result of my own, um, trial and error. It’s hearty, unabashedly cheesy, and if you think ranch seasoning is only for salads, well… this might be the recipe that changes your mind. Oh, and if you counted calories, I… well, never mind, just eat it and smile!

Why I Can’t Stop Making This (And Probably Neither Will You)

I make this soup when the weather threatens to make me cranky, or honestly, just when I’ve got a leftover rotisserie chicken staring me down in the fridge. My little niece once called it “fancy cheesy chicken hot tub,” which is both adorable and disturbingly accurate. The bacon does not hurt. Actually, when I tried skipping it that one time, no one forgave me (not even the dog). Also, for the record, I used to think ranch seasoning in soup would be weird, but… I was very wrong.

The Stuff You’ll Need (With My Usual Chaos of Substitutions)

2-3 cups cooked chicken, shredded (Honestly, I’ve used pulled turkey and it’s fine. Rotisserie really saves time.)
1 packet ranch seasoning (hidden valley or the store brand, no judgment here)
4 cups chicken broth (bouillon cubes and water? Works in a pinch if you don’t mind buzzing around a little extra salt.)
8 oz cream cheese, cubed (I tried low fat once; it tasted a bit sad but technically works!)
1 cup cheddar cheese, shredded (if you want to mix Monterey Jack in, live your best life)
1/2 cup cooked bacon, crumbled (I won’t lecture you if you use real bacon bits, but actual bacon is just better…)
1 large carrot, diced small (or a handful of baby carrots chopped, ’cause it’s what I usually have)
2 celery stalks, chopped
1 small onion, diced (skipping? Sure, but you’ll miss it a tiny bit)
2 cloves garlic, minced (I sometimes just use garlic powder if the real thing is MIA)
1 1/2 cups milk (whole or 2%, and I’ve subbed with half-and-half when feeling really extra)
Salt & pepper (to taste, as always — I start light and sneak tastes as I go)

The Best Crack Chicken Soup – With Bacon & Ranch

How to Make It (With a Few Side Comments, Sorry)

Grab a large pot or Dutch oven and start by cooking your bacon over medium heat. Once it’s good and crispy, scoop out the bacon bits onto a plate lined with a paper towel (if you can resist snacking on them). Pour off some of the rendered bacon fat, but leave a tablespoon or so. Trust me, it helps the veggies later.
Toss in your onion, celery, and carrots. Let them soften for 5-6 minutes, stirring occasionally (this is when my house starts to smell really good, so someone inevitably wanders in).
Add the garlic. Cook another minute or so. You know the drill — don’t let it burn. But if it gets a bit dark, no one’s going to sue you.
Pour in the chicken broth and stir in the ranch seasoning. Give it a good whack with the spoon so nothing clumps. Bring everything to a simmer. If it looks a little weird, that’s just the magic beginning, I promise.
Lower the heat, add the cream cheese cubes. Let them melt gently — it always looks like they’re fighting with the broth but they come together (eventually). I find that whisking a bit helps.
Stir in the shredded chicken and half the bacon (I save the rest for the top because pretty is good too.) Let it all hang out for 10 minutes so the flavors meld. Or until your patience runs out, which for me is often two minutes too soon.
Now add the milk and cheddar, stirring until cheesy and dreamy. I taste here (maybe three times, just to be sure…)
Taste and add salt & pepper as needed. Sprinkle those bacon bits on top and serve up hot!

Honestly, Just a Few Notes That Might Help

It gets thicker as it cools, which can actually be nice — turns into more of a stew the next day. Sometimes I add a splash of broth when reheating.
One time I didn’t soften the veggies enough; they stayed crunchier than I liked. Now I just let them go longer up front.
I’ve also accidentally used Greek yogurt instead of cream cheese. It wasn’t my best move, but surprisingly not tragic.

Variations — Because I Get Bored Easily

Swap out chicken for leftover turkey after the holidays? 100% yes — did it last year and it was almost better (don’t tell my mom).
Veggie version: tried subbing in roasted cauliflower florets for chicken. The verdict: decent, but didn’t quite scratch the same itch.
Switching up the cheese (like Pepper Jack for extra kick) works pretty well. Blue cheese, on the other hand… well, let’s just say it became “interesting.”

Oh, Equipment? Don’t Stress Too Much

I usually break out my trusty Dutch oven for this, but any decent stockpot will do. If you don’t have one, just use your biggest saucepan — you may need to watch for bubbling over. If you don’t own a whisk, a fork actually works to break up the cream cheese (done it many times, usually when I’m mid-laundry).

Storing Leftovers (If You Have Any!)

Just pop leftovers in an airtight container in the fridge. They’ll easily keep 2-3 days, though honestly, in my house it never lasts more than a day! I sometimes think it tastes even better after a night in the fridge, like a lasagna situation.

How I Serve It (And Why You Might Do It Differently)

I love this with a thick hunk of crusty bread — sometimes toasted, sometimes not, depending on how ambitious I feel. Or (don’t judge) I have been known to serve it over a scoop of mashed potatoes. My brother insists on a dash of hot sauce at the table, but that’s not mandatory.

Lessons (Mostly Learned the Hard Way)

I once tried rushing the cream cheese step and just ended up with weird little blobs; easier to just slow down and let it melt.
Don’t overcook the chicken or it’ll get stringy. (Guess who has made this mistake three times.)

Questions I Actually Get

Can I freeze it? Eh, sort of. Creamy soups can go a bit grainy after thawing, but it’s still edible, just not Instagram-pretty.
Is there a way to make it lighter? You can try low-fat cheese and milk; still tasty, just a tad less rich — but like I mentioned, it winds up a little sadder. It’s soup, not a salad, right?
How spicy is it? Not really spicy unless you chuck some hot sauce in. If you do, please report back!
Can I make it in a slow cooker? Yup. Dump everything but cheese/milk in, cook on low 4 hours, then finish with cheese/milk. (Here’s a slow cooker guide I sometimes reference…when I remember to.)
What’s the best ranch seasoning? I actually use whatever is on sale, but if you’re fancy, the classic Hidden Valley is solid. I did once find a recipe for homemade ranch powder at Budget Bytes that works if you’re feeling ambitious.

I should say, if you’re reading this and eating something boring, I dare you to try this. Or at least tell me how yours turns out. And if it saves your week like it did mine, well, all the better. Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble about soup — maybe next time I’ll share my controversial thoughts on pineapple in chili, but, err… that’s another story.

The Best Crack Chicken Soup – With Bacon & Ranch